We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
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I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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