after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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