Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she told me i tasted like america
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize