May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
