so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
