I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
