his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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