I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
