Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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