Your face is a jimmy john
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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