Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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