Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
