Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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