Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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