Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize