I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize