Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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