YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
