Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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