Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize