just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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