You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
