when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize