:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
