roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
