I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
