dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
