if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
