He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
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Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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