so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
