omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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