i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Randomize
