youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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