I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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