Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
