don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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