bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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