The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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