I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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