Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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