you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
