He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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