Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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