By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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