Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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