I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
