You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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