i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
