Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
