don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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