i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
