Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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