I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
