If i come over, it means nothing
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
