When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize