How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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