dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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