NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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