Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
