Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize