well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my shit smells like andre
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
