I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
