Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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