Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
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If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
40s are totally the cure
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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