everyone is single if you try hard enough
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
