get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
