i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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